The Bow-Tie Guy
Hi guys. The other day, I was on Dhani Jones’ website, when I saw that he had FINALLY reviewed the movie ‘Zorro.’ Now, as mediocre linebackers go, Dhani Jones is great, but his real strength is in movie reviewing (http://www.dhani55.com/). How many times have you been watching a football game, and said to yourself, “I can’t go on watching this without knowing whether or not Ike Reese liked ‘Fever Pitch’” (I hear he loved it.)
PS- If you have trouble finding the movie review on his site, it’s in the ‘news’ section, and it’s the only item in there. He also has an ‘Ask Dhani’ Section, the format of which I will copy as soon as someone asks me a question. Also, if I had to rate Dhani’s review using the same rating scale he used to rate ‘Zorro,’ I would have to say, ‘sacked.’
In the spirited spirit of Dhani’s review, I’m going to review the movie King Kong. Now I’m a novice movie reviewer, but apparently that shouldn’t stop me from, well, anything really.
KING KONG

I give this movie five out of six beards.
Now, if you’re a sports fan, you were as surprised as I was to see Ryan Howard in this movie.

Here, an angry Kong swats at fighter planes.
Where does he find the time?
(on a serious note, I'm not a racist, but Ryan Howard looks like King Kong. Seriously.)
If you were to ask me, I’d say this movie was “really good.” But in keeping with Dhani’s review, which compared each part of the movie with a football play, I guess I should do the same. Here goes. The beginning of the movie was like the part of your beard that comes down in front of the ear, the middle of the movie was like the broad part that covers your cheeks. Then, like two and a half hours in, was the part that is next to your mouth that leads up to the end, your moustache. Go King Kong! Touchdown! Also, I think that Roger Ebert should make a similar crossover and upload some footage of him tackling somebody on his website. I’d give that tackle two thumbs up.