New Ideas
I have some new Ideas:
This is an idea I had in which I wait until everyone starts doing their shot to make my toast, so they can hear me better. Or, to make such a long toast that everyone starts drinking after a little while. It could be either, I don't remember. I do remember being very impressive that night, however. Here are ideas I had for the Bearded Man's Internet Superstore, opening in April.
Beard Cream
Here is an idea for cream that you rub on your beard, so that your beard grows inwardly as well as outwardly, and soon infiltrates the wrinkles of the brain, so that when you massage your beard in thought, you're really massaging your brain. Here is what the label will look like.

Smart, huh. This is, of course, a well oiled beard. You may recognize that beard from the face that it's on, which is my face. You may be also thinking that this is a scam, and you'd be right to think that. I also just had an idea for a swim cap, the kind that 90 year old women and olympic swimmers wear, but instead of the US Flag, it has a brain on it. People will say, 'that woman has an unfair advantage, to be swimming with her brain out.' And they'd be right. Also, I tried to make a picture of this man wearing the cap, but he looked exactly the same as figure 1.

Baby Beard Bib

A lot of my friends are getting married, and they ask me how they can make their new baby look more like a fisherman. That's why i came up with the baby bib beard or whatever.

I've decided that if your objective is to keep food off your baby's face, put something on his face. This is a sharp look. I don't know many babies, but this seems like something they might buy. I'll have more ideas tomorrow.

Also, you could wear your bib beard with your brain swim cap for a really smart look. Ahoy!