Beard Law
Beard at time of post: Strong
Today I would like to use this space to lay some ground rules for the future.
1.) Having a beard magnifies the strongest part of your personality.
a.) If you are a rugged countryman, having a beard will make you look like a lumberjack, and may inspire people to "steer clear" of you. Your beard may also decrease friction between your shoulder and cheek/chin, which everyone knows makes it easier to swing an axe.
b.) If you are a dirty Hippy and love nature and are weak and defenseless, your beard will magnify these things. It may inspire people to know that you smell, and not to talk to you for too long for fear that you’ll use terms like, ‘spirit world’ or ‘dream catcher.’ However, if you do not like hearing words like, ‘shower’ and ‘chainsaw,’ these beards may be inviting to you. You dirty, dirty hippy.
c.) If you’re strongest attribute is that you can’t grow a beard, your beard should reflect that, as well.
2.) There are four parts of the beard. The main action, the moustache, the neck beard, and the connecters, (alternate names for connecters are moustache stilts, fu- man- chus, handlebars)
3.) Growing a beard makes fat guys seem slightly less fat.
Here is today's do and todays do-not-do re: beards:
Do: Grow a beard for a rough or challenging stretch.
Way to go Rock!! Beat that Russian!!
Do-not-do: Do not get food in your beard and then, when called on this, say, 'I was saving it for later.' This do-not-do is something that my seventh grade civics teacher, Mr. Halasz, did. His beard magnified that he was fat and corny.
Chris Kaman Daily Update:
I want Chris Kaman to grow a beard. Every day i'll try to convince him in a different way.
Now Check THIS out:
Big Z is being out-classed in both pictures, but in one of them, he looks like he's about to be thrown through a window.
Thank you.
OBG
Beard at time of post: Strong
Today I would like to use this space to lay some ground rules for the future.
1.) Having a beard magnifies the strongest part of your personality.
a.) If you are a rugged countryman, having a beard will make you look like a lumberjack, and may inspire people to "steer clear" of you. Your beard may also decrease friction between your shoulder and cheek/chin, which everyone knows makes it easier to swing an axe.
b.) If you are a dirty Hippy and love nature and are weak and defenseless, your beard will magnify these things. It may inspire people to know that you smell, and not to talk to you for too long for fear that you’ll use terms like, ‘spirit world’ or ‘dream catcher.’ However, if you do not like hearing words like, ‘shower’ and ‘chainsaw,’ these beards may be inviting to you. You dirty, dirty hippy.
c.) If you’re strongest attribute is that you can’t grow a beard, your beard should reflect that, as well.
2.) There are four parts of the beard. The main action, the moustache, the neck beard, and the connecters, (alternate names for connecters are moustache stilts, fu- man- chus, handlebars)
3.) Growing a beard makes fat guys seem slightly less fat.
Here is today's do and todays do-not-do re: beards:
Do: Grow a beard for a rough or challenging stretch.
Way to go Rock!! Beat that Russian!!
Do-not-do: Do not get food in your beard and then, when called on this, say, 'I was saving it for later.' This do-not-do is something that my seventh grade civics teacher, Mr. Halasz, did. His beard magnified that he was fat and corny.
Chris Kaman Daily Update:
I want Chris Kaman to grow a beard. Every day i'll try to convince him in a different way.
Now Check THIS out:Big Z is being out-classed in both pictures, but in one of them, he looks like he's about to be thrown through a window.
Thank you.
OBG
posted by Beardwell Growsmith | 7:19 AM
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